The Ramblings of a Housecat

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Male strippers

Miaow dearest readers,

Well the truth is out about Donna now, Miaow! She had told Ian she was going for a Chinese meal with work colleagues, to celebrate a birthday, AND may not be back until SUNDAY morning!! mew? My feline senses at once smelt Haddock (and it wasn't Donna's bum!), augmented by Donna asking to borrow a litre of Swarfega, as she'd run out of Baby oil, so before she left I decided to check her for the 'Hunken-Dales'! Miaow! Ohh, the liar! Being a responsible cat, I slipped a pack of Condoms into her bag, just 'in case'. Well... down the stairs she came, made up like a painted Russian doll, with a plunging top that exposed her belly button fluff! (wonder where she got that, mew!) and off she went! leaving an arthritic old Cat and a 40 something year old hopeless male to fend for themselves. NO food had been left for us, mew! so we had to cope on our own. After 2 hours, we managed to get the lid off a pot of garlic, and wolfed it down with a mug of water from the toilet bowl, Mmm, Miaow!..NOT! Anyhoe, we got a text message from Donna at 1130pm, expressing undying love, blah, blah, blah, to be frank, she must of been so drunk at the time, we couldn't read most of it, mew!
We retired to bed, and slept fitfully, worried sick about her. When we woke at 9.00am, SHE still wasn't home, well... Just another text sent at 4.30am, expressing, hmm, something, we couldn't read a word...guilty as charged Miaow! I took the liberty of changing all the keys (in hindsight, maybe I should have changed the locks?) Ohhh, that hussey... she wasn't setting foot in my manor again! Must dash folks, Ian has managed to get the lid off a tube of pringles for breakfast, Yaaay!

Love and Purrs,

Muffin-Willow xxx


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